Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot

This afternoon I got out of bed at 3pm.

I was feeling tired, probably down to this cough I have.

I was shaking and felt a bit weird.

Husband has said he's going to be taking my temperature. I just want to lie down and sleep.

If I was to go back to yesterday I was very shaky - so today's hiccup fits with all this. 

Anyway I don't think I have any more plans to go anywhere now. 

Open Your Eyes, Look Up to the Skies and See....

So earlier on here I wrote "Health-wise I had a headache, a very low-grade one which was there all day. I mentioned it yesterday at the hospital and I've been put back on steroids to help. So of course, my sugars went up. So there'll probably be more things I have to put into my body to get my strength and be prepared for treatment starting - I have a couple of weeks so there's time. Oh, and the headache has gone now as well. Typical. I had gestational diabetes when pregnant with my daughter so I know I'm high risk when it comes to anything blood sugar related."

This was November 9th last year - I only finally came off the steroids in the last couple of weeks. No headaches are present currently, though let's wait and see what happens once the Chemo starts again later today. 

I think what I'm noticing more than anything; the hospital staff know what I need to be doing - they monitor me fairly closely to check I don't have a bad reaction - but I don't feel like I have any control. Which really I shouldn't be anyway as I'm not the medical professional.

Here's a good example. Husband picked up my chemo medicine this morning, as well as some anti-sickness drugs. I asked him what I had been prescribed - and he told me "Some chemotherapy and some anti sickness drugs" - which I had to point out is why I've got so confused with all this. Tell me the names of the drugs and let me have some knowledge or control over this. I'm not about to guzzle the lot, I'll just know which is which.

I recently only found out that Temazolomide is chemotherapy. Which I probably already knew, but had almost definitely forgotten. I can safely say I thought it was a steroid. So yes, I'm very confused. Still working on that one though. 

Ring, Ring....

We all got a bit lost in translation yesterday. Fortunately it wasn't a pain for us (probably moreso for husband as he was working) - we gave up after hanging around the hospital for a further hour and headed home.

This was actually the sensible thing to do as the doctor who had told us we'd get a result in 30 minutes meant we had to phone and check in to see - but we weren't told that. 

Which is fine. I don't do 'being angry with other people' very well. 

Husband phoned the hospital but nobody was picking up (they have a new system that they're breaking in), and eventually I got a call from our Neuro contact who explained everything which made a lot more sense. 

So we decided to go ahead and start chemo today rather than yesterday - and that I'll take a tablet on Saturday to make up for it. 

So we're all set, it's all fine. 

I'm waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting....

Here I am after another Monday at the hospital. Today was a bit different to the usual - aside from the waiting involved.

We arrived at the hospital, checked in and grabbed my blood test forms, to then wait for two hours to be called to have my blood taken. By this time my veins were no longer playing ball, after three attempts we got there. It hurt though, it really hurt. 

Back in the waiting room and we sat and waited for me to be called for my blood pressure, weight, all the other stuff I can no longer remember as I'm SO TIRED. Which took forever. Another hour? It felt like it. Maybe not. As luck would have it, I bumped into Nikki who I shared a room with when I had the operation, so it was nice to catch up and see how she's doing. Chemo really does take it out of you, though it looks like she's doing okay overall. 

After that I sat and waited to be called to the Neuro Oncology appointment, and was called, ushered into a side room and then sat waiting for a WHOLE HOUR. Which wasn't doing my already tired head much good. 

Anyway, the good news is that my various levels are now at the level the hospital are happy with so I can start chemotherapy. 

Except I was told I'd get a phone call. Which three hours later still hasn''t happened (I'm kind of glad we left the hospital, it was making me tired). Fortunately we're close enough to the hospital we can pop there when we drop the teen at Guides. Except it closes at 5.30pm. Will I even get a phone call before then? 

Things and Stuff

So it is definitely something we need to do - get my life things sorted out. Hopefully we'll never need to use them or have access, but then again we might. Or maybe I'll need access to husband's because I'm going to live forever. Who knows. 

Today I was in a shop, it might have been WH Smiths, somewhere like that and they were selling wills you could do yourself. I forgot to check the price, they have power of attorney too. Things which we'd need to look at, quite possibly.

I've been keeping myself occupied filing all my books into spine colours. There's no reason for this other than it looks different. I have a pile of books upstairs with more downstairs too. 

I ordered a Thrift+ bag to get rid of old clothes that I won't wear any more which arrived today, ready to be stuffed full of nice clothes. 

Oh and child is adding an extra 5 minutes onto her start of the day by putting on makeup to cover her pimples. Proper teenager there - pleasingly she admitted it which is good. I mean, I knew what she was up to so I'm pleased she's told the truth! 

Adverts

Every other advert on tv is a cancer-related funeral care one. 

Every other advert on tv is a bank. They'd love you to leave some money to a charity (in your will) when you die.

Every other advert on tv is a chocolate one. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't fighting off a cold with higher blood sugar levels so chocolate has gone back on the not-a-chance list until things calm down again. 

Every other advert on tv is a takeaway service - like Just Eat or Uber. I get so many emails every day from Uber it's getting a bit silly. Uber, cool it down a bit, eh? 

I tell you what I could do with some adverts for - chemo-friendly eyebrow reconstruction people, hairline growing fast shampoo (as I could stuff several cushions with all my hair that keeps falling out). I had the most hair fall out today which actually did enough to block the plughole - that was a first. 

Today is also the last day of me taking all my medication unless it's decided that I need to go back on anything (and of course there's starting chemo whenever that happens). So I'm also wondering if this means my diabetes days could be coming to a close. That would be nice - if only to have a break thinking about what I'm eating... 

Forgetfulness

Okay, forgetfulness is well and truly back. My short term memory isn't great. Longer term is - though it's a bit weird. For example, husband asked what I'd like for lunch today - I said I quite fancied a croissant with cheese (as that feels quite a treat right now). 

At this point husband says I asked if we needed anything else and he said "bread" - though I don't remember asking it, but I do remember wanting to make sure we got some. So it probably happened, I'm just not sure. 

I would add as an additional "this might be why" as I've had this awful cold and am trying to stay away from everything - though I've hit the night 'cough-all-night-long' thing which is really irritating. I'm up several times in the night - mainly when the coughing won't stop. Being upright usually fixes it. 

I've actually got to the stage where I insisted husband sleeps downstairs so I don't disturb him in the night which might have worked. 

But my lack of sleep might explain why my head isn't retaining much at the moment. So do hurry up and recover, body. I mean, the last thing I want is to start chemo, but it's also exactly what should be going on. So let's get it underway with me feeling strong and ready to fight.