Driving Revisited

I really miss jumping in the car and getting something from the shops that's that little bit too far to walk to.

That's all.

I really fancy a Feast ice cream and only the shops can satisfy my craving.

I wish I was allowed to drive. 

Steroids Revisited

This one is an odd one. When everything started and all manner of drugs were being prescribed to me, one of them was dexamethasone - a steroid. This was to help reduce the swelling around the tumour, and was one of the medications I successfully weaned myself from. 

But then chemo #2 started and for the first time I vomited - so I contacted my team who put me back on the dex at the high dose as well as a few others.

NOW. The thing is - the first time I took dex my legs became like lead weights. I could barely walk upstairs - every night was a real effort, though it helped me be tired. I weaned off the tablets and my legs went straight back to normal. Then I started taking the tablets again - but this time my legs are unaffected - there's no additional issues at all. 

(I find stuff like this quite interesting)

It feels like some weird lottery where I don't know what's going to happen other than something *probably will*.... 

(this also takes me back to the phone conversation about chemo where I was told 'no hair loss' 'some hair loss' and 'total hair loss' by different people on the team - and it was in fact 'no hair loss' which won, as radiotherapy was the hair removing treatment I had)

So I'm waiting wondering if my legs will start doing that again, hopeful it won't be the case as it should have happened by now.... 

Revisiting the old Runny Nose thing

This hasn't gone away. Every time I eat my nose runs. It started after the operation and was something I hoped would move on eventually, but no, it's quite happy sticking around. In most cases I can deal with it, however, there was one occasion which threw me - though was resolvable. 

Back at the start of the year we went for lunch at The Clink at the prison near the hospital. There's a strict list of things that you can't take in with you - from the obvious (phones) to the lesser obvious (tissues). After chatting with staff at the restaurant it was obvious why - you could smuggle in drugs on a tissue for an inmate who is working at the Clink. Whether you would or not is by the by - it could happen, so you don't get to take in tissues. 

However, all is not lost as The Clink has toilets next to the dining area, so you can get your loo roll which works just as fine, it just isn't as soft. 

The annoying thing about my nose is I can eat the mildest of foods and it happens, the spiciest of foods and it happens - so I'm resigned to this being something I'm stuck with unless my head decides to find a new pathway to fix runny noses. 

Hair Revisited

I have done hair-on-the-head updates but not elsewhere. So here's a brief elsewhere.

Underarms - this hair still hasn't grown back post chemo (we're talking December chemo here too). I am delighted as underarm shaving is a bit boring. 

Legs - hair fest. The mistake I made was shaving them which triggered the whole lot to grow even thicker. I can't be bothered to shave them again. 

Eyebrows - thin. Looking at makeup options to make them visible. Although I've never been great at them.

My head hair has over 1/2cm of regrowth now, it's fluffy and looks better than when it was shorter. No further head hairloss since radiotherapy #2 and the brief chemotherapy #2. 

Hearing Revisited

Have I mentioned my hearing? For the last god knows how many years (since maybe 2004?) I've had tinnitus. I get on with it all, it doesn't stop me from doing anything. 

But.

I am wondering whether the radiotherapy has affected what I can hear. It's possible. But maybe not. 

Earlier today we went to the cinema with the Brownies. I found some dialogue in the film difficult to follow - things I might have heard clearer in the past. Song lyrics too. They kind of blurred into something that made no sense.

(edited to add - when I went to the ENT dept back in the early 2000s I was diagnosed being only able to hear either vowels or consonants as each has a different frequency. I can't remember which way round it was though - but that's my hearing for you anyway).

It was weird. I've noticed that husband's voice seems quieter than usual, the teen too. But what if it's actually me with the problem and they're doing what they've always done? 

One to keep an eye on. 

Hunger Revisited

Seriously. This hunger is too much.

Husband reckons it's steroid related, I'm not so sure. Other than right now I need a giant bag of crisps and that's with husband outside starting the BBQ. Which we have lots of food for.

Which I need to eat now.

I'm not starving but I'm the hungriest I've been in a few weeks. 

It's becoming a bit of an obsession. 

Second Tumour Stuff

Last week I finished my second session of Radiotherapy. I kept it quiet, apart from a handful of people because I felt a bit like I had failed myself and I didn't need to tell everyone (this happens at times, okay?). 

Initially it was going to be three weeks, but the location of the new tumour (which is still quite small) was close to my spinal cord, so it was decided to make it two weeks and hope for the best. 

I asked my neuro nurse whether my upcoming MRI will show any improvement with the new tumour, and was told that it's unlikely we'll see anything as the imaging will be fuzzy. That's a new one on me, so another to add to the list of things to learn about. 

Neuro nurse said I'm doing extremely well with the treatment - especially as I've had no seizures which I swear they think I should have had by now, the amount of times I'm asked. I've had my nausea/food aversion period, and I feel like I might be going back into the dry skin phase now. Fortunately I have all the moisturisers ever because I'm a sucker for stuff like that. 

We chatted more, and there's a chance I might be on a different chemotherapy fairly soon. I think this is to zap tumour #1 (aka Greebo) and who knows what it'll do to tumour #2 (unnamed). 

I have two Radiotherapy masks now. Got to think of names for them. The only names that come to mind are Hinge & Bracket.