Out Out Out

Tonight is another night out at the theatre. I can't wait! Although I have a horrible feeling we're in similar seats to the last time we went there where I had to take breaks getting up the stairs. The joys.

Tonight it's Annie at the New Wimbledon Theatre - with us finally seeing Craig Revel Horwood as Miss Hannigan. We've wanted to see him in the role for so long now - I think it may have been a Paul O'Grady one before he died though. We've seen so many different excellent Miss Hannigan's now (Miranda Hart, Lesley Joseph (possibly twice), now this.... yes, we are watching the same production we always watch. 

Beforehand we're going to Bill's in Wimbledon who do an amazing fondue in a bread roll - we had it in York the other week for my sister's 50th. Were we not in a restaurant I'd have picked it up and drank it like a drink, it was THAT good. 

I'm wondering if I'll eat as much as I did in York - I ate a lot there - the fondue (shared though), a vegan burger and a spooky brownie for pudding. Too good. 

I guess this is a sign my appetite is back as well.... we're all having conversations about reducing my daily steroid amount - though I can't remember what happened last time. I think I was hungry central probably.... 

Truffle cheese fondue sharer with halloumi fries. Yum. 

Dietary

There I was sitting on my phone when my hospital app alerted me to a phone appointment which was starting in 30 minutes. It was new, I knew nothing about it. It wasn't a mystery though as it had been suggested the last time I was in the hospital.

They'd had someone cancel so it was my turn. We talked about my diet (improving) and what and when I ate (increasing), how much I drink (happy) and my blood sugars. 

From the time we talked about the appointment in hospital to now I'm like two different people. The one that tried to eat versus the one that can't stop eating. So we had a positive call with me being told to get in touch with them if anything changes. 

So that was nice as I feel like unless something happens maybe I've a month or so off all of this. 

(I know better than to assume this though)

They're happy with my management of all my eating anyway. I think they're probably impressed with the delicious Marmite toast my sis-in-law makes me every morning. She's GOOD! 

🍞

Memories Fade...

Not a lot to report other than the usuals but I'm making a point of logging these now for hospital use. 

What day is it? What am I doing today?

My skin is dry.

I'm eating a bit more. I'm drinking plenty of water. I like fizzy no alcohol drinks. 

My regrown hair is looking longer at the front which is good, I've no idea about the back.

I'm tired. We had visitors this weekend which was lovely - lots of noise which I wasn't used to, though it led to a nice nap afterwards. 

That's that. 

Been Quiet.

I was back at the hospital this week. What was going to be a three appointment visit ended up being an epic six appointment one instead - including a two hour wait. We were there for a long time, a very long time. No lunch either - I didn't want to move away from where we were as our phone batteries were low - we're talking 5%. Whoops. 

So my tumours are stable. I'm not sure what that meant, but I'm not worrying about it as it seems like all is well. The consultant was apologetic as she thought I had been told. This is another good reason why being anxious about test results isn't a good thing - I'd have probably been very stressed had I realised the results were on my records a good couple of weeks before I was even told. 

There are concerns about my bloods, there's another level which isn't playing ball so I've been given injections which I'm phasing into the earlier part of the day so I can take around the time I take my insulin (I'm more likely to remember then). So I go back into the cycle of medicines and restarting the steroids and all the things I'm not a fan of. The most drastic thing that we found was my weightloss. The previous weight check was done in March 2023, and I've lost 12kg since then. If only losing weight was that easy! I'm not enjoying the lack of appetite though. It's improving again, I only left three slices of pizza last night although that might be the lack of lunch too....

So now I'm getting more appointments towards helping me get towards whatever my new 'normal' will be. Dietician appointments (I know what I can eat, it's what doesn't make me retch - although it is improving). Stuff like that. I will go to them because I'll gain something from them I'm sure - and to be honest, being at home for a lot of the day you really need to get out of the house. Not helped when the weather is rainy and windy like it is at the moment. 

Food, Glorious Food

I think my problem with food might be returning. I'm back to eating smaller portions which is kind of annoying - food doesn't excite me at the moment - I just eat because I have to. 

I remember the time I ate a whole pizza a month or two ago. We had pizza on Friday and I left half of it. It's little things like that where you wouldn't know if you weren't around me all the time. 

Yesterday I was starving - we went to a cafe but there was no food for the other two, so we gave up. In the end I bought a Waitrose Egg and Cress sandwich which took me forever to eat as I passed the weird hunger window. 

We had a burger for tea, I managed half of my veggie burger but had to leave it as I didn't have the energy to eat. Stuff like that, lots of little things. 

Then I had a rubbish night's sleep, getting to sleep sometime around 1am and waking at around 3.30am, 4.30am and 5.30am. But my brain read the time as a different time altogether. 

The Pub, Revisited

We have company - husband's sister is staying with us for a while. This is a good thing as I'll have someone else to chat to through the day and I might be able to persuade her to accompany me to Croydon for some last minute presents. (it's Fathers Day next Sunday)

They've all gone off for a nice walk and I'm going to meet them at the pub getting the bus there. I've checked the menu and most things involve cheese - still. 

We have been threatened with a thunderstorm last night - it didn't happen. There's also the potential for one this afternoon, though no signs as yet. 

Husband's sister was in Vietnam before getting to London and picked us up some sweet treats - dark chocolate dipped satsuma pieces. They're delicious. Though by the time we started eating them we wondered why there were lots of small ants on the table. It looks like some Vietnamese small ants are having a little London break. 

So in some ways I'm kind of glad we're not eating at home (ants) as you won't find them down the pub. 

Yet in other ways I wish I was eating at home thanks to the amount of cheese I may well end up eating this afternoon. 

Hunger Revisited

Seriously. This hunger is too much.

Husband reckons it's steroid related, I'm not so sure. Other than right now I need a giant bag of crisps and that's with husband outside starting the BBQ. Which we have lots of food for.

Which I need to eat now.

I'm not starving but I'm the hungriest I've been in a few weeks. 

It's becoming a bit of an obsession. 

The Hunger

My hunger issues appear to be over. However, in place of this is the need to be eating all the time, ever.

Right now I want Pringles. It is a bad idea for me to have Pringles as I've just done my blood sugar test and it was high (we had a Greek lunch). But I need to eat. My tastebuds are dictating they need a slightly cheesy crispy thing and they need it now. 

So I have to pretend I'm not hungry and don't need this food more than anything else ever. I distract myself, classic distraction technique, watch some crappy tv to make me think of other things.

But still the taste of the Pringles is in my head. 

I am grateful I seem to be eating normally, but resentful of the Pringles cravings I'm having. At least they're on offer with the supermarket at the moment...

In summary, I'm a diabetic (insulin controlled) as I'm back on steroids and my diet needs to improve. As in, no Pringles. So I think I've done okay today denying this craving.