Hello

Should I do a little catch up on everything? Let's try....

I'm very tired. We know this, I keep going on about it. Lots of afternoon naps are being had, that sort of thing. Yesterday I lost track of everything. Had my tea and then laid down and had a nap, except I forgot I had my tea. So I woke up at some point past 9pm thinking I hadn't eaten since lunch, and I certainly felt it. 

It took husband to go through everything for me to realise I was completely wrong and had only been asleep for ten or twenty minutes tops. I was so tired I could barely sit up though. 

My sense of time has completely gone - I'm distracted by this being a side effect, but not beating myself up. Mainly as I remember this being an issue at the very start and it sorted itself out, so I'm hopeful this time too. 

My skin issues seem to have stopped which is good news. I never enjoy those. No dry skin anywhere either which is additional good news. No itchy scalp which is even better. 

Legs - feel very heavy. 

Stick - can't manage without it (I think)

Diabetes - I've stopped taking insulin. No major worries. 

Hair (back) - lots of thick, dark curly areas. Weird! 

Standing up is a challenge. I feel a bit giddy when I stand up and if I'm not beyond a certain shape I'll just collapse on the settee instead. 

No bruises on the end of my fingers! As I only need to do this once a week now which is great. Even though I haven't yet. 

Sore Tuesday

My GP doctor visited today, she's great. Lots of long cancer-esque conversations, no conclusions but lots of options.

Before that the Rapid Response team visited, fitting stair rails for me. So now I'm trying those and it doesn't feel quite so bad. 

I've even eaten. Just the best crisps, mind. Handpicked. Tubes!

My sleep cycles are difficult to understand so please don't try. Last night I fell asleep around 1am, my sleep ready to go. Then before I knew it, it was 5am and I was wide awake. 

Then I fell back asleep for a few more hours, probably waking around 11:00, when I was kindly brought breakfast in bed. Which was cold but I'm not complaining. 

Tomorrow my food will be warm!

🍞🥐🥨🫕🥣🍽️

Ouch

This is not the start of the evil headaches though this one is making sure I know it can. 

It's painful in a 2/10 constant ache where paracetamol doesn't touch it. 

Manageable but irritating. I want to sit in the bath and relax but I probably won't be able to get out of the bath. (this happened the other night)

I want to smell good again (always guaranteed with a bath). 

We chatted with hospice doc today as husband is concerned about my side effects whereas I think it's part of it all. I think I'm right, thanks Dr Google. 

Hospice nurse is visiting tomorrow. I like her, she's very straightforward. 

We're chatting with so many people I'm losing track again, sigh. 

I'll Be Surprised If She Comes Back

The first rule of anything is don't do anything. You might find something you didn't want to read. Then you want to make sure everyone knows that's not the case.

"Well how on earth do they know that?" says one of my imaginary friends. They don't.

But when you find out that people are wondering when I'll be back you feel like you're kind of wanted in an unexpected way.

Which is nice too. 

Bruise Glorious Bruise.

Saucy shoulder shot. It's slowly going....

Do the Collapse

This is not going well.

I keep randomly falling over. Apparently I have a bruise on my forehead, and I definitely have a bloody blotch on my leg. 

I was getting out of the bath, lost my balance and a couple of crashes later and I'm looking suitably war torn. Maybe.

My hospice nurse was wonderfully sympathetic, though there's very little we can do other than wait for it to heal. 

So I'm off baths for the time being and hoping that showers won't be as problematic. I get randomly dizzy and that's when the problems start. 

I wish it was all nice and straightforward. 

One Month Until ..

Well that's an interesting idea, post on social networks that we're a month from Christmas Day. I mean, how has it come so quickly?

So I checked today's date - it's the 29th. Ho hum, I lost a few days there didn't I?

We're in that funny phase where I thought I'd been ill for a handful of days but husband tells me it's a week and a half. So now we're working out if we need to phone someone medical. The GP will probably send me to A&E (no sleep, choice of foods), the new hospice will probably send me to A&E (as above) and the old hospital will probably ask me to go in (and again ..) so it's a no-win situation as far as NOT going to A&E goes. 

I don't actually want to go there. Mainly as I can't get discharged easily as they see the diabetes on my notes so it ends up being a weekend stay. 

Here, have a Dave Grohl pic.