All Mixed Up

Flip. It's happened again. I had something to write about and now I'm here I've forgotten what it was.

This is normal behaviour for me these days, though it doesn't stop being frustrating. It's like, just logging onto Blogger and setting a new post ready is enough to wipe out the thoughts I had. 

Sometimes it comes back. Sometimes it doesn't. I wish my brain didn't get rid of my thoughts this quickly though. Give me enough time to write a note rather than plough through my empty head. 

Anyway. This is possibly the most pointless post yet but I'm going with it.

H....h.....h....

"blah blah blah raw halloumi" said (probably) husband

"Raw Halloumi?!" I exclaimed, confused straight away. "How can you have raw halloumi?"

"You don't cook it?" I was offered back.

"I'm so confused. How can you cook halloumi?" 

The teen looked at me. "Are you getting it mixed up with hummus?"

I was.

That is today's example of my mixing up words. Oh how we all chuckled. 

Thing

You find out all sorts. The teen and the husband both told me things from last October that they had forgotten.

The teen, I've forgotten again. I'm saving this space for when it comes back to me.

The husband, today I found out that when I was first admitted to hospital I had a full body MRI scan. I was surprised but I guess it makes sense - they wanted to make sure that there were no other tumours anywhere else in my body. There wasn't. I have no recollection of this at all. 

The only thing I ever remember from MRIs is the noise of the machine, mainly as I'll make a little tune in my head with it to pass the time. Seems to work, anyway! 

Smile.

This is something I've noticed more of late. My smile is a bit strange at times. Not noticeably so, but enough that if you know, you spot it straight away.

With everything that's going on at the moment I've found myself taking a lot of selfies. Hairloss, skin rashes, all of that. Amongst most of these pictures is my terrible smile. I think I look pleasant but then I see the picture - and the weird formation my mouth is shaped into.

By the way, don't get me wrong, it could have been a billion times worse if we didn't have phones and had to post off films to be developed like in the old days. At least if the photo is bad I can do a quick retake although most of the time I am too tired or can't be bothered. 

But yes, my smile. It needs work. It's up there with my mum in the eighties when she would start a conversation while having her photo taken, leaving us with a permanent reminder of an odd expression. (I do like them though!)

Anyway, I'm working on my smile. I may be some time. 

Side Effects Update (2), etc.

I'm pretty sure this isn't the second but guess what? I've forgotten the system I set up. Normal behaviour here, it has to be said. 

I don't have any new side effects I don't think. The problem is that I've forgotten them already. This happens a lot (see above). 

I'm sleeping fine, probably not as many hours as I'd like and I wake up in the middle of the night feeling confused but am able to get back to sleep. My skin is back to normal, hair appears to be starting to sprout again in some places which feels horribly normal. 

I have a really large bald patch at the back of my head from the radiotherapy, currently disguised by the long hair bit I kept because it seemed like a good idea at the time. 

I mean, it doesn't look great does it? But I'm fine with it. 

Plus it's no longer falling out.

My skin is still a bit dry but not as bad as it was when it was really bad. 

My stamina needs a bit of work. I've been so tired with the lack of food that now I'm eating normally again my legs are feeling a bit of a dead weight (like at the start of this treatment) so I'm a bit slower. 

That's that, anyway. 

Dietary

There I was sitting on my phone when my hospital app alerted me to a phone appointment which was starting in 30 minutes. It was new, I knew nothing about it. It wasn't a mystery though as it had been suggested the last time I was in the hospital.

They'd had someone cancel so it was my turn. We talked about my diet (improving) and what and when I ate (increasing), how much I drink (happy) and my blood sugars. 

From the time we talked about the appointment in hospital to now I'm like two different people. The one that tried to eat versus the one that can't stop eating. So we had a positive call with me being told to get in touch with them if anything changes. 

So that was nice as I feel like unless something happens maybe I've a month or so off all of this. 

(I know better than to assume this though)

They're happy with my management of all my eating anyway. I think they're probably impressed with the delicious Marmite toast my sis-in-law makes me every morning. She's GOOD! 

🍞

Side Splitting

So here I am, no longer updating daily like I was. Mainly as my repetition is quite obvious when I post things, but also there's nothing new to log.

I'm on my phone, so constructing the above paragraph has made me forget what I was going to post about. Irritating!

School holidays have started so the teen is at home through the day, apart from right now as she's watching the Barbie movie with her school friends - dressed up as Ken. 

I am currently administering injections daily to make me healthy which seem to be helping - I had an irritating dry cough which has shifted, they spotted some blood clots too so chemo is on hold until things are a bit more stable. They're bigger needles than my insulin ones, my stomach now covered in tiny bruises and a slight stinging feeling as my skin calms down. 

My overnight sleep pattern is good at the moment though I find myself waking at strange hours, I'm able to get back to sleep easily. 

Anyway, that's my Tuesday update.