Stuff

Oh you know, there's only so long you can go on about missing hair, thinning eyebrows and flaky skin before you run out of things to ramble on about. 

That's okay. I guess if anyone read this and came across it in one day it'd be a bit repetitive. 

I'm finding that my thing at the moment which is really getting to me is loneliness. Which considering my sister and nephew came to visit us at the weekend is a bit ironic - we were busier than usual but I wasn't really - I sat watching. 

On saying that, they had a house-wide game of hide and seek which was very funny - husband and I were both amazed there were that many places to hide here. I didn't join in as I felt tired, but supervised (and apparently looked quite guilty like I was covering up for someone hiding - I wasn't) and laughed at my sister hiding behind the door as she wanted to watch tv rather than join in with them. 

The loneliness is weird. Teen is on half term and needs time to decompress after six weeks of school - I get that - whereas I'm on my fourth month of being at home and hoping that I can go for a walk down the hill to the local cafes at some point (which I'd talked about with teen). I'm definitely needy because of this. Teen did actually tell me to stop being like this - I am now worried I'm making her feel guilty because I don't want her to feel that way, but I'm pleased she was able to speak up. 

Ultimately, all I need is someone to walk with me to the bottom of the hill as my confidence levels are pretty low - the last time I did it was on Saturday and before that it was December (mainly due to the bad weather). It's the coming back up the hill which gets me - my legs still aren't great from being on dexamethasone (now weaned back to 0.5mg!) and I have to stop as they get wobbly - I feel better being with someone than on my own. I'm also a lot better walking where it's flat - so once I'm down the hill it's much easier to deal with. 

So yeah, half term is a bit weird right now. Hopefully tomorrow and onwards things will be better.