I'll Be Surprised If She Comes Back

The first rule of anything is don't do anything. You might find something you didn't want to read. Then you want to make sure everyone knows that's not the case.

"Well how on earth do they know that?" says one of my imaginary friends. They don't.

But when you find out that people are wondering when I'll be back you feel like you're kind of wanted in an unexpected way.

Which is nice too. 

Bruise Glorious Bruise.

Saucy shoulder shot. It's slowly going....

Do the Collapse

This is not going well.

I keep randomly falling over. Apparently I have a bruise on my forehead, and I definitely have a bloody blotch on my leg. 

I was getting out of the bath, lost my balance and a couple of crashes later and I'm looking suitably war torn. Maybe.

My hospice nurse was wonderfully sympathetic, though there's very little we can do other than wait for it to heal. 

So I'm off baths for the time being and hoping that showers won't be as problematic. I get randomly dizzy and that's when the problems start. 

I wish it was all nice and straightforward. 

One Month Until ..

Well that's an interesting idea, post on social networks that we're a month from Christmas Day. I mean, how has it come so quickly?

So I checked today's date - it's the 29th. Ho hum, I lost a few days there didn't I?

We're in that funny phase where I thought I'd been ill for a handful of days but husband tells me it's a week and a half. So now we're working out if we need to phone someone medical. The GP will probably send me to A&E (no sleep, choice of foods), the new hospice will probably send me to A&E (as above) and the old hospital will probably ask me to go in (and again ..) so it's a no-win situation as far as NOT going to A&E goes. 

I don't actually want to go there. Mainly as I can't get discharged easily as they see the diabetes on my notes so it ends up being a weekend stay. 

Here, have a Dave Grohl pic.

Stuff

I have a lot of posts in draft at the mo, this is the latest one.

My problem is that I can never remember what I was going to waffle on about.

Like now.

Irritating.

Discharge

I re-read my discharge letter from the Royal Marsden. It's quite bleak. 

This happens a lot, I read something but then go back to it and I re-read as something completely different. 

Essentially I've been told any new side effects will be managed by the hospice, though I can still request appointments at The Marsden.

I also still get GP phone calls and prescriptions. 

But yes, the 'sorry we can't help you until you need help' letter feels a bit more "you're dumped" than I thought. 

Which I'm not, really, kind of. But I sort of am too. 

It's so confusing being me. I might also feel a teeny bit upset for the first time too. 

Forgetfulness

Yeah yeah, the f-word again. Sorry. 

I'm forgetting a lot at the moment but am being told not to worry and just focus on my steroid reduction. Which I was anyway, I like a good project to keep on top of. 

Anyhow, we reduced my dose by 0.5 this morning, I used my last test strip (prescription central!!), and I need to get more. Now.

I still have the one head, I feel a bit unwell (like a 2/10) and am ready to plod on with whatever is required unless it involves long walks which I'm currently not able to do as it makes me feel tired. 

My week used to be organised by the daily puzzle on Animal Crossing however, I'm now forgetting to do the puzzle. Today is Monday but in my head it's Thursday. It's SO confusing. Those closest know, they make allowances too. We get through it. 

It's weird having excuses and reasons for the way you are and them being accepted without any questions.