Stuff

I have a lot of posts in draft at the mo, this is the latest one.

My problem is that I can never remember what I was going to waffle on about.

Like now.

Irritating.

Discharge

I re-read my discharge letter from the Royal Marsden. It's quite bleak. 

This happens a lot, I read something but then go back to it and I re-read as something completely different. 

Essentially I've been told any new side effects will be managed by the hospice, though I can still request appointments at The Marsden.

I also still get GP phone calls and prescriptions. 

But yes, the 'sorry we can't help you until you need help' letter feels a bit more "you're dumped" than I thought. 

Which I'm not, really, kind of. But I sort of am too. 

It's so confusing being me. I might also feel a teeny bit upset for the first time too. 

Forgetfulness

Yeah yeah, the f-word again. Sorry. 

I'm forgetting a lot at the moment but am being told not to worry and just focus on my steroid reduction. Which I was anyway, I like a good project to keep on top of. 

Anyhow, we reduced my dose by 0.5 this morning, I used my last test strip (prescription central!!), and I need to get more. Now.

I still have the one head, I feel a bit unwell (like a 2/10) and am ready to plod on with whatever is required unless it involves long walks which I'm currently not able to do as it makes me feel tired. 

My week used to be organised by the daily puzzle on Animal Crossing however, I'm now forgetting to do the puzzle. Today is Monday but in my head it's Thursday. It's SO confusing. Those closest know, they make allowances too. We get through it. 

It's weird having excuses and reasons for the way you are and them being accepted without any questions. 

Vomity

Phew. What a horrible night last night. 

I appear to have caught something. I'm unsure what but I managed to be very very sick last night, couldn't take any tablets and generally felt sorry for myself under the spare duvet in the front room.

At one point I needed the loo which was quite unsuccessful - I stood and fell on top of husband, unable to manoeuvre myself off him. If I hadn't felt so rubbish I'd have had the energy to laugh. Fast forward a couple of days and I've got a pair of quite spectacular bruises. 

Fortunately we worked it out. Fortunately.

I've no idea where this came from, other than every ten minutes or so I had to be sick. That was delightful. 

I did get a very good sleep last night and this morning. As in, I woke up about 10.30-11.00. I'm so very tired still.

We plod on, let's hope this is on its way out....

Chocolate

I can't stop eating chocolate. It's like a weird addiction, I see the biscuit, the biscuit has to be eaten by me. So it is and oh GOD it's so good. 

This was assisted by my friend bringing me biscuits yesterday and me stuffing my face full of chocolatey sugary badness. I'm sure my blood sugars went for a little party at this sugary smorgasbord of treats, though fortunately I wasn't due to test myself. 

ANYWAY. We are on the "let's mess with my medication" mode at the moment, with the purpose of no insulin or dexamethasone in the coming months unless something happens. Which we know is probably likely. 

I'm getting a lot of phone calls and I'm struggling to remember who is who and who I've had a conversation with at the moment. I have prescriptions to pick up, medicines to take and general confusion with it all which I'm sure will pass with time. But I also have my chocolate. 

Side Effects Update (4)

Ok, let's get on with it. 

Legs - like lead weights at times, difficult to walk upstairs. I manage but it's tiring. 

Skin - it's behaving at the moment.

Hair - no additional hairloss, lots of regrowth. 

Diabetes - being looked at and adjusted. 

Eyelashes - one side still has very curly eyelashes.

Sleep - I am sleeping. A lot. 

Appetite - very good at the moment, eating lots of food I probably shouldn't. 

Stick - The stick and I stick together. It helps. 

This post is following on from this one. 

Baby Bruise Fingers

If I could get a good photograph of the tips of my fingers I would, but I don't think the lighting works in my favour. 

On almost all my fingers are tiny fading bruises from months of blood sugar testing, pricking the end of my finger and taking bloods to check everything is behaving. 

Then I get a text from my GP who wants to talk about cholesterol. OH Cholesterol. This has always been an issue, it goes back years - back to when I was previously diabetic. I think they just want to phone me rather than have an appointment, I can deal with that. "Did you know your cholesterol levels are higher than they should be?" "yes" "okay, good stuff, bye" would be the ideal outcome here, though I know it'll be "eat less chips - eat less pasta - portion sizes - graze" sort of conversations. Those foods are faves at the moment as they're easy to eat and I don't feel unwell eating them. 

While the small circular bruises disappear back into my skin, only to be reactivated when I choose that finger. The blood thinner tablets are definitely doing what they're meant to... 

The bonus of diabetes was my nurse checking my feet last week and instructing my husband he has to moisturise my legs and feet once a week. Something I don't think I'll forget quickly anyway....