The Memory Thing, Food and Not Sleeping Too Well (I guess) & AOB

The Memory Thing - my days are getting mixed up again. Why, just yesterday I asked the husband if I went to a cafe with the teen at half term. I couldn't remember at all. I think he may have been surprised I didn't remember too. Mainly as he pointed out to get to the cafe, I'd have had to drive. Oh yeah... I can't drive can I. He was there too. Whoops. There have been more of these happening of late.

Food - I am conscious that my eating has slowed down a lot. These days everyone has finished while I'm only half way through my food. I'm hoping the food aversion isn't coming back again because that was annoying. I finish most things, however am leaving food in the evenings as I get too full. But it feels like it's changing again.

Not Sleeping Too Well - this isn't new. I've always had problems sleeping. I'm even worse at the moment, getting by on a steady five or six hours every night. I miss the days when I'd wake up at 10am, it's more like 6 or 7 these days unless I can get back to sleep quickly. I've cut back my coffee to one a day and none in the afternoon to see if it helps too.

Any other business? Well, yes, actually. This is a new one that's got into my head more than it should. I saw a lady in her seventies (maybe) walking outside, enjoying the sunshine. I felt really sad inside - that might never be me. I want to be an old person enjoying the sunshine, except instead I'm having to limit my time in the sun thanks to burning quickly. For the first time since this whole treatment started I felt quite sad for myself. Not sad burst into tears sad, just sad that something I'd have taken for granted might not happen. But then again it could, such is the unpredictable nature of this annoying tumour. 

Electric Shock - footnote - it's gone. 

Dermatology appointment - I got cream, it's all good. 

THEN

I think I've worked out why I gained (or lost, bear with me, my memory is rubbish, remember?) a day a while back. 

I've clearly forgotten one reading, maybe two. It has happened more than once - but when I get around to filling it in it goes where there's a space, rather than where it should be - this is only if I'm doing twenty seven billion things at once. Actually, it probably takes me doing just two things to forget. 

But that seems the best explanation why a day disappeared or was gained. 

Memories....

So the world of weird has re/appeared these last two days.

In my head I'm staying indoors today because I'm due a delivery from Nespresso and Ocado are delivering our food too. 

The reality is that I did a Nespresso order a week ago and Ocado are delivering tomorrow. So now I'm trying to work out why I've set today aside and I can't remember for the life of me. 

Yesterday we went for Afternoon Tea at Langshott Manor which was nice and empty so we had space from other people. I was still stuffed after two sandwiches and two scones plus a mini lemon meringue tart, so brought the food home with me. Husband fared better only bringing home his mini carrot cake. 

I've come to the realisation that lots of food and how I behave afterwards could have a weird side-effect. I get really tired (blood sugars? Even though I'm not diabetic) and then I need a nap and usually have one. It's a new thing, I'm listening to my body and getting on with whatever I need to. 

I'm also wondering if rubbish sleep equals a rubbish memory. I'd take that over more cancer growth a billion times. 

Electric Shock Revisited (2) (maybe?)

So that electric shock feeling that I got on my body (which I'm still putting down to chemo) has come back. It's a 1/10 level, easily ignored, but it's definitely back. 

I'm now wondering if it's actually a radiotherapy side effect as those are the ones kicking in at the moment. 

Fortunately my skin hasn't dried up, developed a rash or cracked up. 

Hair Revisited (3)

The patch is getting bigger, though I'm not sure how much more could fall out.

Did I Mention?

Back when my skin was peeling, my ears had a split area where the skin had peeled away - the front and the back. It was like having a wound that refused to heal until I found a cream that helped it go away. 

So yes, I had bad ears this year. 

Baby Ants 🐜

Today I haven't seen a single baby ant so I'm confident that they've all gone.

This means I get baby ant sized itches on my legs to really torment myself.