The Start

October 2022 and husband had enough. I wasn't listening, my menopausal brain fog was making me tired. 

He dialled 111 and the person he spoke to told him to take me straight to A&E. So the idea of a no fuss rest and recharge wasn't happening any more.

Things get hazy around now. I don't remember a lot about A&E other than I was there for a long time.

At some point I was sent off for a CT scan of my head, and it was confirmed that there was a brain tumour there. I'm fairly sure I stayed in hospital for the weekend, coming home on the Monday. 

However, my sense of time was non-existent. Evidence:

- I could easily spend two hours on the toilet without realising it had been that long.

- I'm easily distracted.

- My days are broken down into what is on TV that night and that day's Animal Crossing tasks. 

- I forget all of the above.

Moving onto a ward, I knew two other patients which was nice, however, both have dementia and kept me awake overnight. One was convinced she was about to be killed, the other was distressed and wailed all night. It wasn't great.

My memory of this is getting the brain tumour diagnosis while on the ward though my husband disagrees and says it was in A&E. 

Everything is hazy with bits of clarity. 

At some point I was discharged from St Helier with instructions to prepare for an operation at St George's in Tooting the following week. Things were moving very fast. Too fast possibly. I needed headspace but too many people needed me - and if I didn't start treatment then my life expectancy would be significantly lowered. 

(At this point we didn't know what stage it all was, this was later confirmed to be stage 4)