Told

Mum has now been told, face to face.

It went okay, as well as could be expected. There were tears, and we were asked (by mum) to leave to give her time to process it all. Which we did.

It's weird telling your parent you have a terminal illness, especially when she wants to do something to help. But there isn't anything, just what we're already doing. 

I didn't cry, just lots of hugs and trying to make sure mum didn't get too upset. We don't know how much she'll retain that she has been told. The key thing is the C-Word - cancer. 

It's all a bit rubbish really. 

A Logistical Nightmare

Things are going well. I currently have four or five hospitals/medical establishments which are issuing prescriptions to me. I've completely lost track of who has issued what and what my medication actually is. 

So my days are phoning the GP, hospital, other hospital and so on to try and work out what is going on. 

Some of my prescriptions are different dosages so I need to make sure I have the correct dose handy as well so I don't run out. Uuuhh.

Too much to think about!! 

The Teen

My teen is growing up. Yesterday she was fitted with braces on her top and bottom teeth, the metal clunky 'these are not making me happy' ones. So far she has celebrated by eating soup and ice cream (not together, that would be weird) and the aches she's been having are becoming more tolerable. 

Interestingly, her orthodontist said she may need some teeth extracting - just like her old mum did. I have six teeth on each side which isn't a huge amount. 

I remember having a brace. It was a nasty plastic thing which stuck in the roof of my mouth and kept the molars straight - not that I remember a lot about my teeth at the time though. Other than they'll have been wonky. 

The teen's teeth definitely need help and they're getting it now which is good. 

The total treatment time is two years. 

Monthly Donation

One thing I've noticed more than anything in this year I've been off work and life is that there appears to be a huge market for charities convincing you to give them money. 

For example, there are a lot of "we know you don't like funerals, so when your loved one dies they can organise it all so you can do something nice to remember them afterwards" which kind of makes sense.

Within this group of adverts there is one where a (quite clearly not) 50 year old lady is playing hide and seek with her granddaughter. "I'm 50 and a non-smoker" she tells the people down the phone. Now, I've been teaching myself to be kinder these last few... well, I'm not sure how long, but long enough. She is quite clearly not 50, more like at least another 10-15 years older. It isn't even dubbed so you can't blame that route either. For a parallel, I dislike this advert as much as the 'On the beach' one that was on every single ad break in the summer. 

Cars. Lots of "you won't lose your no claims with us" sort of ads. 

Then there are the next lot of adverts. Free wills with cancer charities. Possibly a bit close to home right now but something that needs looking into. Mainly as Shaun won't have a clue what to do with all my rubbish. Another thing is a Power of Attorney - having used ours with mum a lot I can see this is very important. 

Then, there are the animals that need help charities. Donkeys, horses, cats, dogs, rabbits,  oh just name them, they will be covered somewhere. I've noticed these charities encourage you to donate £5 - I'm assuming a month, but I don't actually know. All I know is the animals look like they need lots of love and I hope someone is able to do it. 

Finally, there are the children in poorer countries who can't afford doctors/hospital treatment, encouraging us to donate. I can't remember how much, just how sad the children seem. I'd donate money to most of these but right now we need every penny we can get. So instead I'll watch and wish. 

Bleh.

Well I can't type up anything about my hospital visit. Mainly because I need to email a lot of people first. I can see views on the posts on here now, only small numbers but they could be anyone - including people I know. 

But yeah, things are moving again. 

Not Using the F-word

So we're all more than aware how little my head retains. It's irritating, especially when the teen and husband tell me about a conversation we've had the previous day and I have zero recollection. 

At first I wondered if there was a parallel universe where these had happened with another me, which would explain why I don't remember. But that feels way too complex. 

Nope, it's happening, I don't retain it and then I feel like my life is confusing. 

So if I then accept the conversation happened, do we move on? Nope. We talk more about it until I get tired.

Side Effects Update (3)

Shall we?

Skin - generally okay, though I can see where new hairs are growing how it pushes a kind of small spot-like bit of skin out, giving me the appearance of an oddly dandruffed woman. MooGoo cream seems to fix that thankfully.

Hair - no flakes. I'm sure they'll be back, but I now have a scalp massager so I'm hopeful I can keep it away.  No hairloss either. 

Diabetes - I'm still sitting in that middle range blood sugar reading place where I'm not concerned if they're a bit higher, though I need to watch myself in case I eat something I shouldn't.

Eyelashes - oh they're beautifully curly in a way they have never been before, and don't seem to have straightened in any way. With the adverts on tv and the kids who are now blind because of an eye thing they've picked up I guess I probably should have minor alarm bells ringing.... in a 'just in case' way.

Leg muscles - they're getting heavier feeling again, a common steroids side effect. There isn't much I can do about it other than keep moving around. 

Sleep - I'm sleeping. However, I do wake up early every morning (sometimes even around 2am in need of the loo). The bonus with this is I get snuggles with the teen while her dad makes her some breakfast - assuming this is after 7.30am of course! 

Appetite - it's back at the moment, we'll see if it sticks around or whether I stop eating again.... 

Stick - I'm still using a stick when I am out walking, often I need it to help get me moving, other times it's there as a support. It's used every day anyway. I did go through a short phase of forgetting to take it out, but always remembered in time.