Serious

Okay, so all of this is way more serious than I previously understood.

I'm on palliative care with the hospice as the hospital can do no more for me. So as and when I'll get scans is anyone's guess. 

I can request them which I'm considering. My days memory has gone. There's also leaky bladder time (sorry). I asked husband, do we think the oldest tumour is growing maybe? We don't know. Those are old side effects that are new. 

All I know is that if it is/they are growing the only way we'll know is with yet another MRI.

Which then means if there's a treatment we'll work it out. But if the hospital won't offer me treatment (current position) then what happens next? Super powered painkillers? Except I'm not allowed stronger than paracetamol. Uhhh. 

Anyway, as I cross the pathway back to the world of "oops, she sort of understood" I can't help think about some of the scenarios we've found ourselves in. Hospitals that smell of baked potatoes. Beeps. Bleeps. No sleeps. More bleeps.

My hospital friend isn't replying to texts. Given how terrible I am at replying it could be nothing. That's what I'm hoping....